Dad had his 65th birthday

 My dad had his 65th birthday on February 27th and the thought of him becoming a senior citizen I have mixed emotions about. Yes I am grateful he made it to this age and yet concerned that he feels worn out. This is the natural progression of life I guess. He and my mom who turns 65 later this year are in my thoughts and prayers. Even more than that I want to protect them from those who take advantage of old people. This includes relatives, so called friends and perfect strangers.

 They will forever be heroes in what they accomplished in their lives. My mom as a nurse, teacher, administrator and mother and how she balanced all her duties. My dad as a welder, teacher of welding in high school and a father. My parents beat the odds and taught me how to dream big. Now they are teaching my sisters kids their grandchildren how to work, learn and follow their dreams. Hockey camps, school plays, meeting their teachers are all apart of their lives. Just like their previous lives of being great parents they have transferred those same skills in making them wonderful grandparents. I remind my nephews how blessed they really are to have Nana and Gah- Gah as they are affectionately called as active grandparents in their lives.

So 65 years old has perks and drawbacks but has not stopped my dad and mom from living. So what if they need to take a few medications so they can have quality of life and function well. The important thing is they live well and they are grateful for every breath they take. My hope and prayer is that I have that kind of attitude at their age.

By Ty Stingel

March 4, 2014 

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To Say Hello

To say hello is a start

When a new chapter in one’s life’s journey

A new baby being born and a period of adjustment and learning

You make a commitment to be responsible and never part.

However in life parents make tough choice in regards to their child

My birth mom held me, loved me and yet for my good said goodbye

In God’s divine providence we said hello again this summer as I smiled and cried

The joy we both felt as it answered questions we both had since I was child.

Saying hello takes courage no matter what anyone says too you

We maybe accepted or rejected that day

However God’s love never fades and molds us like clay

Love, peace and joy grabs hold no matter what people may say or do.

Moving forward in life when done in faith a person can go far

Feeling comfortable in one’s own skin

To be grateful of who you are and where you’ve been

To say hello to life and knowing who is my strength and shining star. 

I am so loved and I am grateful new people have let me in

We are built to be loved, accepted and wanted on earth

Coming to peace with my past and looking forward with joy for what it’s worth

Accepting and loving family and friends where love begins.

So reintroduce yourself and say hello to someone today

Tear down the walls of time and space

And you will see God’s amazing grace

The healing begins and growth takes place.

Saying hello means I love you and I care too me

Wanting to be the best son, brother, uncle and friend

Someone that you can count on that will not bend

Every day I am grateful for this life and too be free.

By Ty Stingel

December 29, 2013

Dedicated to all my family and friends who love, care and support me.

 

Bullying and Disability

  Bullying and disability at one time was a taboo topic. Bullying in general was not seen as a major concern for parents, guardians, teachers, coaches in society. No one every dreamed children would die due to the affects of being bullied. The information age we live in with computers, cell phones, tablets are great tools if used in a positive way but this cyber bullying has got to stop!

  The definition of bullying- “is the use of force, threat of coercion to abuse, intimidate or aggressively to impose domination over others.” ( Webster’s Dictionary) Boys are more physical in their bullying tactics while girls are verbal. Boys will bully both girls and other boys. Girls tend to only bully other girls. When bullies have friends and circumstances don’t work well for them they turn on their friends to save themselves. This way of operating for a bully boy or girl is not new it is just being talked about now due to the gravity of consequences were both boys and girls lives are at stake especially in the 12-16 year old age bracket.

  So what child in the disability community can be a target of bullying. The answer is almost any child that has an impairment. Speech and Language issues for a child can be a target for a bully who sees the child as weird or different. A child with a Developmental Coordination Disorder or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder can be picked on for not fitting in to whatever is considered to be normal. Remember bullies behave the way they do because of the inadequacies within themselves. Love, care, discipline and teaching of how to treat others may not be evident in their lives.

  How has bullying and my own disability affected me in my own life.  Being bullied affected me from age 7-12 years old. Yes I was depressed, angry, sad and wanted revenge against the bullies that picked on me for being different due to my brain surgeries, disability and epilepsy. However I was fortunate to have a faith in God, family, school and sports to make the difference in releasing the tension most of the time. To be honest I got even with the bullies when playing sports and got even by playing hard nosed in whatever sport we were playing that helped release my anger. No one likes being picked last and neither did I when I was a kid. However when I did I wanted the other team to pay for discounting me. Was this the healthiest approach for being mistreated and the answer is no. The other option of curling up in a ball and feeling sorry for myself was not an option worth considering. My way of dealing with bullying is only one approach and I felt being sensitive about the bullying was going to swallow me up. However my anxiety reached a high point in grade 6 and my mom and dad took me out of school and reached an agreement with some opposition from the vice principal of the school that I only come for core classes from Easter till June. We moved to a new city and I got a new lease on life without being bullied.

  Do I have answers to bullying? No I don’t have all the answers but I have a few ideas. Well in this day and age keeping young children off or monitoring their social media accounts to prevent bullying for one. Parents having an open dialogue about bullying whether your child is able bodied or disabled. Teaching the child to treat other children and adults the way they want to be treated with dignity and respect. An ounce of prevention is worth a pond of cure in not raising a bully or a child not being bullied by knowing their rights and responsibilities while being at school or in the community. Teachers and coaches should not bare the burden of raising the child but it happens when children do not get taught how to behave and mistreat other kids. It takes a village to raise a child and the message come out loud and clear that bullying is not cool!

   The damage of physical harm or even suicide due to the psychological affects of bullying must come to an end. Bullying can not claim one more child. There have been too many stories of a child taking their lives due to bullying. Teaching acceptance, respect. kindness and dignity in our homes is a start.

By Ty Stingel

November 5, 2013

 

Welcome Home

Well it is Thanksgiving and be should say welcome home

Put aside our differences instead of creating a perfect storm

Instead love one another like it is the norm

So give your parents a hug and kiss and say it’s good to home

So live in the moment and don’t bicker about the past

Live with each other in harmony and be thankful for what you got

You never know if you will be here again at this very spot

So make memories that are joyous and will last.

We aren’t guaranteed tomorrow and when our maker calls us home

So let’s take care of the present and say three precious words I love you

Be thankful for the turkey, the trimmings and ask what can I do

When you are at peace with God and the one’s you love you are never alone.

So welcome home you weary traveller God will say to us

My son or daughter you need not weep no more

You have run the race well as  He opens up the door

I am yours and you are mine he will say to us.

By Ty Stingel

October 13, 2013